Friday, February 6, 2009

What Gives?

So I have been keeping a family blog for a few months now. And it is great-I love writing about my kids, my best friend/husband and our lives together. But sometimes I just want to rant. Sometimes I want to write about stuff that is more about me than us. So I thought I would give myself my own blog to rant on when I feel like it. That way I can't muddle up the sweet family stuff with whatever crazy stuff is on my mind. Plus I won't bore the people who just want to see pictures of my lovely daughters.

Don't think that I won't talk about my family though. They are my entire life. Take this, my inagural post, for one. On Wednesday at ECFE (Early Childhood Family Ed), the parent educator, Sarah, had us pick a marker from a bucket. She gave each of us a blank sticker and told us to draw a heart on it in a color that describes our current emotional state, and to put that heart sticker on our sleeve. I chose blue. It turned out that I was being too honest. Because when we got together in small groups to discuss our color and what it meant, everyone else was calm, cheerful, sunny, etc. And I truly felt blue. Like sad. 2008 was a heinous year for me and many of the people I love the most. That year is over and done, but there is still a lot of repairing to do. And on Wednesday I was feeling down about the repair work. And that was largely due to my habit of staying up way too late and waking much too early. I ended up telling the group that blue symbolized me being tired. Which was a half truth but who cares. Sarah was trying to make a point about parenting, about how kids have a huge range of emotion and it is our job as parents to help them find appropriate ways to work through their emotions. Unfortunately, it is also our job to help ourselves work through our own emotions. So the rest of the class was spent discussing the things we do to take care of ourselves, or, as Sarah put it, "What do you do to feel human?"

So here are some things that I have been doing lately to feel human. Things I do to feel like an adult, and to take care of my own self, crazy though I may be.

I am a total Scrabble nerd. Luckily, my husband is, too. And he has this handy dandy I-Phone with the Scrabble game right on it! So we always have a game going. Even if we are sitting on the couch doing separate things (he is often online and I am often knitting-more on that in a minute), we can still have a game going. We just pass the phone back and forth. It is grand, I have to say. With two little kids, we generally do 100-piece puzzles and play Zingo. Scrabble is such a treat!
And it absolutely makes me feel like a grown up. Plus there is that competitive edge going on. I admit that I prefer to win.

Knitting. I have a ball of yarn waiting to be made into a hat for me. It will be the first thing I have made for myself ever. I mean, other than the ugly and itchy hat I made in Knitting 101. But I didn't pick the pattern out or anything-it was a class requirement and I wasn't about to pawn it off on anyone else. So anyhoo, the yarn pictured above arrived yesterday via UPS. It was my version of getting a candy gram. The charcoal gray stuff is to finish a hat for Liz, my sister in law. The brown is for a hat for Sam, my brother and Liz's husband. It is weird to think of him as Liz's husband instead of my brother. I mean, he is both, but I don't usually think of him as Liz's first. Whatever. The blue is for a hat for my sister Alex. Her birthday is on Sunday. I think my own hat will have to wait. Which is fine, because I prefer to knit for other people.

An example of how neurotic I can be. I have knit this hat about 15 times for 15 different babies. I have the pattern pretty much memorized. As I was making the charcoal gray hat for Liz, I ran out of yarn. I needed something easy to do while I waited for the new ball to arrive. I didn't want to start my own hat because it is more complicated, and I didn't want to get confused when I went back to Liz's. Because the Liz hat is my first attempt at cables and I don't want to mess it up. Anyhoo, I found some yarn in my stash and knit this up over the past two days while I waited for the above package to arrive. Knitting calms me. And lately I find I am at ease if I have a project going.

Anyhow, going to get my firstborn off the bus.

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